Counting down

My wedding is on Saturday. You're probably wondering if I'm excited. I know you're wondering this because everyone I talk to keeps asking that very question.

So, am I excited? Does nauseous count? Cause I'm definitely nauseous. It could be the laxatives, but I think it's just generalized anxiety.

Why laxatives you say? The laxatives are part of a little experiment that began last Friday when Dave suggested I might enjoy watching a special about 6 brides who try and lose weight before their wedding. Yes, lose weight. Apparently I am the only one who thinks that increasing your Twinkie intake is the very best way to prepare for the wedding. So these 6 brides decided that they would lose weight so that they would be able to zip the wedding dresses that they each bought 3 sizes too small. Watching all the healthy eating and exercising filled me with tremendous guilt-- so much so that I was forced to eat the M&M's leftover from our wedding favor making. One of the brides on the show was disappointed to hit a plateau after losing 20 lbs. With 10 lbs. to go, her personal trainer advised her to try laxatives, which are apparently a totally safe weight loss method under careful medical supervision. I did reasonably well in high school biology, so I therefore naturally felt that my expertise would be sufficient to begin a little laxative experiment of my own.

So far, the results of my experiment are inconclusive. I notice no difference what-so-ever, but I do enjoy the danger of abusing over the counter medication. Good times. (Don't worry-- I will only be continuing the experiment through Friday-- I figure one week of improper medication use won't cause any long term damage.)

UPDATE: I wound up getting ill (not from laxatives-- I'm sure they are perfectly safe) and decided that I would have to forgo the rest of my experiment in order to get healthy before the wedding. I did appear to be a few pounds lighter at the wedding and I was able to zip my dress, so I will declare a victory here.